Dear Nick,
Today I got my big butt on my bike and rode to Auntie Linda’s house to see Marni’s new dog. I got about ¼ of the way there before I realized that I am horribly out of shape- and unable to peddle in any speed. But you know me… I wouldn’t turn around and come back home. I continued on my journey when suddenly I realized (much to my surprise) that it was sort of up hill.
I thought… this will probably kill me. I’m going to die at 60 on a stupid bike with this stupid helmet on my head, not looking the least bit attractive. I’ll probably hit the cement face first and knock my teeth out and break my nose too. Fuck this, I said to myself as I pushed my legs even harder.
Every couple of blocks I had to stop and stand because even though it’s a nice gel seat- it hurt my ass. I was surprised too, to find out that I did actually have some bones in my ass.
When I made the one -mile mark I thought okay- I may live. I’ll just have to stop a lot- oh and by the way, the drivers here are all assholes, no one slows down or moves over for old fat ladies on bikes.
Mile two of the 2.2 mile trip was a little better- only because by this time my ass had gone numb. And did I mention it was windy? The wind whistled past my hearing aids at about 1000 decibels and was a real treat.
I finally made it- ready to collapse from exhaustion, thirsty as hell and a sore ass, I pulled up to the house- and no one was home. Not Linda, not Frank, not Frankie and no sign of Marni and her little doggie. I heard the rooster announcing my arrival – to no one. I tried to text Marni but out there in horsy land cell phones are verbotin- or so it seems.
I waited (rested) 15 minutes and then decided I better get home before dusk. My ride home was definitely quicker and easier- although my ass is beyond repair- which is really sad on an already old ass.
The good news is that I didn’t give up and turn around before I got to where I was going. If I have to start giving up – I will feel old. For now I feel like I won one. I rode my bike 4.4 miles and lived to tell the story.
Love,
Your crazy Ma
You're my hero!!! Don't ever give up! Can't wait to hear about the next bike trip! What I loved about living in Europe is that cars were a luxury. That being said, people are in much better shape, even in their 80's, because they bike and walk everywhere. I met a Greek woman who I was sure was in her early 50's. When I found out that she was actually in her mid-70's (after my jaw recoiled from the floor)and asked her the secret, she replied, "Don't ever get a a car!"
ReplyDelete...keep at it it only gets easier! --Mo
ReplyDelete