Sick is not Old ... it just feels that way

 I find myself lacking the confidence, or sometimes over- confidence, I once had about myself. Little things chip away at it, like parking the car in the garage and knocking the side mirror off. Now, even Toshi, my Shiba Inu, looks from side to side when I creep into the garage going zero miles per hour, praying I won’t knock off the duct taped mirror again.

Yesterday, I had to throw away a whole batch of cookie dough because I couldn’t remember if I put the baking soda in or not. Then, the minute I dumped it, I realized I must have. Since I pride myself on my fantastic memory- this blunder was a huge blow to my over-inflated ego, and a slight blow to my pocket book too; since butter, chocolate and vanilla are now at a premium prices.

There was a time, when no matter what, if I was trying to do something or fix something I would not stop until it was done. Yesterday in the middle of baking cookies and making soups, I had to stop and take a two-hour nap.

This last week, I had a cold and shingles. I didn’t miss any work but I did go to bed every night by 9PM and a few nights earlier than that. I was starting to feel very sorry for my aging, aching body and myself when at the end of the day yesterday I added up everything I had accomplished in a week – with a cold and shingles.

I built over 200 ads, and worked 47 hours. I cleaned my house twice, I made two different kinds of cookies (about 8 dozen ) and two different kinds of soup. I did about 10 loads of laundry, walked dogs, fed dogs, I wrote about 2500 words, read numerous magazine articles and three chapters of The Seven Pillars of Wisdom. I made at least four trips to the store and still I feel like I didn’t get enough done and I am inclined to think it’s because I’m getting old. But really- I probably did more than a lot of people half my age, who were not sick.

Here is where feeling old is symptomatic of something else entirely. I don’t feel old, I feel sick and I’m tired. My head is saying old though. My expectations for myself this week were for a healthy me- not a younger me.

It’s easy to blame age because it’s the likely suspect. You can’t help but notice it, because it actually does chip away at you. But this week didn’t kill me and I should feel good about what I did get done and not snivel about what I didn’t get done.  I’m going to keep doing those brain exercises though because I really can’t afford to throw out any more cookie dough.

If you are 60 years old or older and you have not gotten your shingles shot- go get it. I have had this debilitating virus for over 25 years and it kicks my ass every time I have a flare up. The shot won’t do me any good because I already have shingles, but if you never had them, go get the shot.

Have a healthy week!

You're Only as Old ....

I took a good look at myself the other day- and decided I needed to come up with a good way to deal with aging. That old adage- you’re only as old as you feel, is a bunch of crap. I think you are only as old as you act and/or look. It doesn’t matter how you feel. If it did, I would be 500 years old.

Of course, you do have to limit your moaning and groaning as you move about the house, get out of bed, or a haul your ass out of a comfortable chair, but that is a learned skill.

I thought to myself- you can do this Katie. You can age gracefully and maybe even embrace it a little- on a good day, well sometimes, maybe.

Aging is a gradual process that hits us all at once. It’s the damndest thing. And, it’s not like I fell apart all at once either. I started wearing glasses in my 40’s, hearing aids in my early 50’s and I’ve bleached my graying hair forever. This year I have noticed a few new things, like thinning skin that bleeds at the tiniest scratch, multiple age spots, weight gain that won’t come off no matter what diet I’m on, wrinkles on my face, saggy upper arms, saggy everything actually, and facial hair I never had before. My upper body strength is not what it once was- and the veins, the veins in my legs are hideous- good thing I can’t see them unless I use a magnifying glass.

The facial hair is a big problem, because my eyes are bad. I have to remove the errant hairs by Braille. I keep meaning to ask my son to make sure he plucks my chin and brows when I’m too old to do it myself. I don’t ever want to be one of those old ladies that walks around with a chin hair two inches long and doesn’t realize everyone stares at her chin hair when talking to her. It’s worse than a guy with a bad rug.

That my ass and my boobs are still north of my knees is a small blessing for which I am thankful. My super-duper bras cost a fortune though- and nothing will be coming from Victoria’s secret.

Besides all the body changes, there are personality issues too. I am going to be 60 years old in just a couple of months, and I have an attitude to match it. I’m almost 60 for Christ’s sake- don’t talk to me like I'm 12. I don’t care who you are.

Granted, I kind of always had that attitude even when I was 12- but now I have something to back it up.

A lot of people in my age group are going under the knife for a little plastic youth. That’s probably not going to be my route. Too many of them come out looking like burn victims, and while maybe they prefer that to wrinkles, I am positive I would not. If you do it- please take before and after pictures and send them to me so I can post them on my blog. Maybe you’ll change my mind.

If anything can get us through this aging process, it will be sense of humor. Even stuff that is not so funny can be funny if you look at it with the right perspective. So, my new perspective is this: I’m glad I’m not dead yet. Everything from there looks good to me.